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The beginning,the middle, and to never end..

Posted 10-13-2011 at 12:52 AM by jessa<3

Today i have decided that i need more than just my journaling, my support groups, and keeping things locked up inside...Some people say that my feelings and thoughts should be private, i disagree...i appreciate feedback,suggestions, and anything else people have to say. Life is not perfect for is what we make of it but sometimes you just cant change the events happening. I have been sick for almost six yrs, yes i have been diagnosed with some things but i find it unacceptable that they arent treatable. They have made life difficult for not just me but my family. My family is my boyfriend of nine and a half yrs..he is incredable, he takes care of everything, and he doesnt run away when things are bad and lately all we see is bad. Im the mother of two boys, a eleven and six yr old. They are night and day and i will be talking about them ALOT throughout my blog. Life has changed so much for me that its hard to accept but truth is it needs to be accepted and I need to learn to live with it. One reason for my blog is to hear others input...sometimes hearing others opinions can help plenty. Another reason is keeping all my stress,hurt,joy,excitment, and failed experiences to myself is eating me alive. I never judge people, anymore, and if people want to judge me that is there bussiness and bad or good input is input and i will read it all and take from it what i find useful. I have changed so much since graduating in 1999 that i sometimes dont recognize myself. I have tried to face all demons, and fix all that is broken but alot of my attempts have either made things worse or have upset people. My intentions are good and i mean no hurt towards others. Even if only one person finds something i say helpful i will better knowing i shared. I have come to realize that people like to make the public think their lives are perfect and everything is coming up roses, if that is true then their advice i need desperatly. I never sugar coat my life, i tell it as it is and i do this to be honest in hopes that somebody might have advice on how to deal with the stuff i go through. I have felt so many things and it feels like most have been bad but i believe that everything happens for a going through everything to make me stronger and that im on my path of life and in the end it will all work out in the the end. I will do anything i can to help my friends and i care so much about all my friends. I dont have alot of friends but the ones i have i care/love oh so much. so for my first entry i want to just give a little info and as time goes on more will be explained. I hope everyone is at peace and continues to be safe. Till the next time, Jessa
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